Wedding

We got permission from Hannah's doctors to go to my cousin Ashley's wedding in North Carolina this past weekend. It was the most special, thoughtful wedding I've ever attended. It was wonderful to get to spend the weekend with our extended family and share in Ashley's special day!

We broke up the drive halfway by spending the night in Savannah. We spent the morning on a very quick tour of the city by horse and carriage.

The humidity must have fogged up the camera lens, but this next picture is a great example of Hannah's extreme grouchiness which occurs often these days.

Aunt Susie made all of the flower girls' dresses. She did an amazing job!

This was our table at the rehearsal dinner. It makes for a very interesting dinner when the children way outnumber the grown-ups at the table!

Hannah and the other older girl cousins were flower girls. They were adorable!

On the way home, we spent the night in Atlanta because Hannah had her appointment the next morning. We saw a different doctor in her group of Leukemia doctors. He was great. We have had such a positive experience with the staff at Egleston! Her blood counts were a little lower this week, but adequate enough for them to increase her dose of chemo. They will continue to increase the dose each appointment during this phase as long as her body can handle it. She has done well with it this week and has felt good. Here, she is playing with paper dolls, waiting on the doctor to come.

In other family news, Evan lost another tooth. I'm not sure what the Tooth Fairy's problem is, but she seems to forget to stop by our house a lot! It has actually happened so much that Evan woke up the next morning and said, "The Tooth Fairy forgot to come again!" Last time she messed up and Evan had to find his money on the kitchen counter. I don't know what is going on with her that she can't do her job, but she needs to do better!

Dr. Hannah

Hannah's new favorite thing to play is doctor. Yesterday, her sweet nurse, "Miss" Anne, sent her home with all kinds of real doctor supplies. Hannah always insists that Evan and Lauren be the patients. (Lauren is the little actress, playing like she is sick. Evan is not quite in character.)

Somehow the girls talked Evan into moving to the "operating room" and being the sole patient. You can see his uncertainty about this on his face.

Phase 3

Hannah started the third phase of her treatment today. In this phase she will have three kinds of chemo and will go for appointments every ten days. This phase will last about two months. She had a long, but good appointment today.

As one of her doctors was leaving our room he mentioned that he was on his way to tell a family that their child had relapsed. I cannot imagine going through years of treatment, think that it is all behind you and then have to go through it all over again. I don't know this family's name, but please take a few minutes to pray for them. Our family is so blessed to have such wonderful prayer support, but not everyone has this. I can't stop thinking about them and how they must be feeling today.

When we first found out about Hannah having Leukemia and for about the first six weeks following that, I felt angry at and betrayed by God. I had prayed for my children to be healthy. I had prayed that He would keep them safe. I felt like all of those prayers had been shattered in an instant. I couldn't pray to Him during that time. I felt like it was a waste of my time to pray when He was going to do whatever He wanted, regardless of my prayers. Slowly, I began to come around. My wise sister, Maria, told me to remember what I know about God and who He is, even if I don't feel it at the time. Reading the book, Holding on to Hope by Nancy Guthrie helped tremendously. I am certain that all of the prayers from our loved ones who prayed when I couldn't helped the most. I had to come to a place where, as Nancy Guthrie says in her book, "Well, I guess here is where the rubber meets the road. Here is where I find out if I really believe what I say I believe." I have come to understand that if God is who I believe He is and who He says He is, then I can trust Him. I can trust Him to do whatever He sees fit to do. I can trust Him to bring whatever He wants into our lives. He knows what is best for my life and for my family's life (and I don't!!!) An amazing peace has washed over me as a result of placing my trust in Him through all of this. I have a long way to go and a lot more to learn in this journey. It is still not easy. It still hurts. I still have days where I don't want to get out of bed and when I can't stop crying. But I know He is sovereign and good and loving. And I know that I can trust Him with everything, even this.

ER Trip

We have had a couple of frustrating days. On Wednesday, a mosquito bite on Hannah's cheek looked infected and had red streaks coming from it. Her doctor said that it could be a staph infection and that since it was on her face we should come on to the emergency room at Egleston. By the time we got up there it was late and we were all tired. It ended up taking six hours for them to do a CBC test (a simple blood test that should have taken five minutes). Part of the problem was that they had a new nurse access Hannah's port. She didn't do it right - they couldn't draw blood from it and it was hurting Hannah so something was wrong with it. They had to take it out and re-do it. This all happened around 3:00 a.m., so Hannah was good and grouchy by then. She got so upset that they gave her some Versed to calm her down. Anyone who knows Hannah knows that she is a very spirited and lively child with a great sense of humor. (She acts just like her Daddy!) She had all of the nurses and us cracking up at the way she was acting on the Versed. She was hillarious and eating up all of the attention. But then the Versed wore off and there was no more funny, entertaining Hannah. By the time we were admitted to a room it was 6:30 a.m. and none of us had slept for the entire night. Needless to say Hannah was not very happy about this whole experience!

First thing in the morning on Thursday the doctors decided that she was fine and would be discharged. We thought we would probably get out around lunch time. Yes, we are still inexperienced in the ways of hospitals. We didn't get out of there until 5:00. Then we had to spend the night and be back this morning for her chemo treatment because they couldn't work it in to do it while she was admitted.

She did really well considering the long hours we had to wait and sit in small, confined rooms. She is getting more and more comfortable going to the hospital and with the things they do to her there. She loves her regular nurses and has fun with them each week. She had the last treatment of her second phase today and we even get the week off next week! She is still on oral chemo, but this should truly be a break for her.