April

Hannah had her April appointment yesterday. I was eager to talk to her doctors and anxious about this appointment. Hannah had been running a low-grade fever every day for a month and had a nasty cough for twice that long. During this month I had called Egleston to ask about it and the ER doctor couldn't find what was wrong. That's a long time to run a fever and of course, my mind couldn't help but to worry about the worst case scenario. Her doctors ruled out the worst things it could be (which set my mind at ease) but couldn't pinpoint what could cause fever for that long. They sent us home with several ideas of things to try thinking it might be allergies, asthma or a sinus infection. We got home from Atlanta late in the afternoon and about an hour later Hannah started running a fever of 103.4. We got back in the car, headed to the ER and spent most of the night there. This doctor decided to test for RSV. She tested positive. A normal child's body should be able to fight RSV in about a week. They think that she's had the fever and cough for so long because her immune system stays weakened due to the chemo. She just can't fight it off. We are so glad to finally know what is going on. Since Hannah has been sick I always empathize with people when they have to wait for test results or are unsure what the diagnosis is. The not-knowing seems so much harder.

This was a hard day for Hannah. She dreads her appointments in Atlanta. On the way up there this time she told us, "I'm telling you, I'm NOT going in that hospital!!" We have to hold her down for them to access her port. She hates getting her finger pricked. After doing all of that yesterday morning, we had to turn around and do it all again that night. It took both Eric and me to hold her down for her port access then it took two of us to hold her down for them to stick a tube up her nose to test for the RSV. Nothing breaks my heart more than this. I think about if it were me - how panicked I would be if big people were holding me down to do scary things that hurt while I was screaming "NO"! She tries to crawl behind me on the hospital bed when nurses walk in the room to hide from them so they can't get her. To make it worse, her parents, who are supposed to protect her and keep people from hurting her are the ones who are holding her down.


We took this picture a few hours later, after she had calmed down. This was about 1:00 a.m. My parents went to get us supper because we hadn't eaten yet. Hannah was very excited about her Huddle House (the only thing that's open at that time of night) pancakes and bacon!

March

I am very late in posting about the month of March. Hannah had her treatment appointment on the 15th. This was the sedation appointment where they inject the chemo into her spinal cord fluid. Hannah really doesn't like these appointments (although she loves her nurses which helps!) We were glad to have it over with and to mark another treatment off the count!

The next day the amazing ladies of Beta Sigma Phi in Colquitt, GA had their annual Crush Cancer Run to benefit the American Cancer Society. Their featured cancer for this year was Leukemia and they asked Hannah to be there. It was a fun morning for a great cause.

Evan celebrated a birthday in March and turned eight. It was his idea to decorate the cake with Legos. I loved the idea!

Easter Sunday

Easter egg hunt at Lolley's

We had to spend most of Easter night in the ER because Hannah's fever had gotten high enough. We couldn't figure out what was causing the fever and were able to go home that night. 

One of Each

Hannah's hair is really growing back now and it is definitely going to be brown. Now our kids each have a different hair color - blond, red and brown.

Hannah has accumulated three necklaces worth of beads from the Beads of Courage program through the hospital. Each bead represents a procedure she's had such as pokes, stays in the hospital, blood transfusions, etc. I explained what some of them mean here. She loves to go through the necklaces and talk about what the beads mean and remember certain times when she was extra brave and got the special beads.

All Hannah wanted for her birthday was a bike. She has loved riding it every day!

Watch This!

When you get a chance, take a few minutes and watch this video. This family's faith is amazing! His message is one we all need to hear and apply to our lives.

When My Heart Is Overwhelmed


I can't say that I felt like he and his wife did when they were told their five year old daughter had cancer. I wish I had had faith like that. I did question why. I had nothing to say to God. I couldn't even pray for my sick child. I look back on those months and wish I had handled them differently, better. I wish my kids could have seen their mother be rock-solid strong instead of falling apart. But I also hope that this is all not in vain. Eric and I often say to each other that we hope to be changed for the better because of all of this. I want to know the Bible like he talks about in this video. I want to know and trust and love Jesus that much. I want to be able to say, "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn Your decrees." (Psalm 119:71) Are we saturating our minds and hearts with the word of God so that His character and promises fill our hearts? So that when the storm comes we are able to trust Him and say, "You give and You take away. Blessed be the name of the Lord"? I looked around the congregation of our church this morning and my heart hurt because there are many in my church family going through very difficult things in their lives. The the only way to live in a world full of hurt and disappointments, sickness and cancer and death - is to know and love Him so much that we can trust Him, no matter what.

This sermon is also excellent. It is about suffering.

Struck Down but Not Destroyed


P.S.   After writing this post I was able to watch this sermon too. In part of it he talks about when he did ask why. It's really good. Take the time to watch these videos!

When Sparrows Fall

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH!

February 26 is Hannah's birthday and she will turn four! She has been so excited about her birthday this year. This birthday has been extra meaningful for our family as we are overwhelmingly thankful to celebrate her being here with us. Birthdays truly are something to be celebrated (even as we adults get older and think we would rather not have any more). Life is such a precious gift - not to be taken for granted!

As a family we aren't big birthday party people. We usually just have immediate family over for cake and gifts. Since this year was special to us for Hannah's birthday, we decided to have a big party and invite all of her friends and family. The invitations were sent, food bought, house cleaned... and Hannah started running fever on Friday afternoon. It was a low-grade fever, but since it stuck around for several hours her doctor told us to go ahead to the ER. We had to cancel the party. Thankfully, her blood counts were high enough that we didn't have to go up to Atlanta to stay. They treated her with IV antibiotics and sent us home. We were all disappointed about the party. We snapped a few pictures of her enjoying her cake and pinata.

This is her "birthday dress" she chose.

Making a wish and blowing out the candles.

As soon as she laid eyes on this pinata in the store, she had very detailed instructions that she would NOT be blindfolded because she wanted to watch herself bust it and all the candy fall out.

February Appointment

Hannah had her February appointment on Friday.  She is handling her oral chemo well and her blood counts were where they should be. The oral chemo makes her stomach hurt some days and the doctors gave her a little extra medicine for that. Her doctors were pleased with how she is doing. It is good to have a normal, routine appointment with no complications!

This was about hour three on the drive up when she gets really bored and ready to get out of her car seat. (And you can also see how she kicks Eric's seat countless times during the rides!)

My creative, seasoned-veteran sister, Maria, told me about this idea -- to color on the paper of the exam table. It has always been a hit and keeps her occupied for a long time. 

Banquet

 A couple of weekends ago the Twilight Pageant hosted a Valentine's banquet to raise money for the Ronald McDonald House. There were queens from many other pageants there - I don't think I've ever seen so many beauty queens in one place. Lauren and Hannah were in awe! It was a great event for a wonderful cause!

The entertainment was an Elvis tribute artist. Hannah wasn't so sure about him at first...

...but she warmed up to him later.

Lauren and Hannah had a great time on the dance floor!