March

Hannah had to be sedated for her procedure this appointment. She also had to have some extra testing done this time that could only be scheduled during the middle of the week. This is Eric's busiest time of the year with work so I took her by myself. This is the first time in almost two years of appointments that I had to go alone. I'm so thankful that Eric is able to go with us almost all of the time. Hannah and I both missed him this trip!

She was upset when she figured out that she had to go into the sedation room and, as always, tried to fight when it was time for them to put her to sleep. She is getting older and asking harder questions such as, "What do they do to me while I'm asleep?" I wasn't sure how to explain that they stick a needle into her spinal cord and put chemo into her spinal cord fluid without scaring her.

In the waiting room bright and early (she had an 8:00 appointment). She looks very cheery for having to wake up so early - this child is not a morning person! 

The Georgia Chapter of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society has asked Hannah to be their "Honored Hero" for their Spring season. We got to meet the team and go for a run with them. These amazing people are giving (a lot!!) of their time to fundraise and train for the Nike DC marathon/half marathon and the Seattle Rock 'n Roll marathon/half marathon. It was very special for us to get to meet them and we are thankful for all they are doing to help find a cure for blood cancers! 

These are just a few of the team members. Hannah arranged us all for this picture. :)

Only five more appointments! 

At Hannah's appointment I was trying to comfort her about having to be sedated. I told her that she will only have to be sedated one more time. This brought up all kinds of mixed feelings in me. As we are nearing the end of treatment you'd think that I would be thrilled that my daughter soon won't have to have chemo put into her body anymore. A part of me is thankful and glad that the chemo will be ending soon. But another part of me doesn't want it to stop. Crazy, right?! The chemo is effectively keeping her body from making new cancer cells. So when it stops there is a chance for relapse. In my heart there is comfort in chemo. I never thought I would have these thoughts! And how much do we celebrate this ending of chemo with Hannah? Is it fair to cheer and say, "Only one more sedation! Only five more appointments of chemo!" What happens, then, if she relapses? How devastating for her to think it was all over and then have to do it again (and treatment would be much worse on her a second time!) Here, again, is where I need an instruction manual on all of these issues.